Pierre B.

Ah what is this exhilirating feeling in my shoulders? Maybe it’s my test coming up or the fact that I have an opportunity everyday to be my greatest self but whatever it may be I feel fired up. Lately I’ve been having this energenic feeling, a feeling as if i’m ready for a fight. I feel extreme euphoria, excitement at something I don’t know. I feel like kicking a heavy bag, or punching a few pads. I feel like I should put on some shoes and run, and never stop running. Take a torch and run and run and run. I feel like scaling my apartment building all the way up to the 31st floor. Also, I want to dodge a few kicks and punches. I want to evade and parry, and then attack with full force. o___o what does this all mean?!

hmm..

The brown hair on my arms that’s been growing, and this tail coming out the backside might explain some things… nahhh, it’s prolly just the steroids i’ve been taking.

With graduation in sight {less than a year away), I’ve been looking far off all over the country, in little nooks and crannies, for perhaps an opportunity. I’ve been flipping over rocks and peeking through cracks and crevices to maybe stumble upon a job offer, a graduate program, or some type of opportunity to do something with my life. I’ve probably traveled over 3500 miles looking, and have come up short. What’s worse is that I’ve been looking so far deep into the future, worrying about what will happen 5 years from now that I forgot to be here. I forgot to be here at October 3, 2009 at 12:37 (HST). This moment, this very nanosecond (10^-9 s), and that is my fatal flaw. This is the reason why I’m behind in school, and why I am not where i want to be.

I consider myself a dreamer. I often dream of faraway lands and false realities that sometimes I need a little pinch to help me realize to be HERE. I don’t mean to rant and complain about myself, but I do feel like I need a deep breathe. I need to close my eyes, think, then unthink and clear all the rust off my mind. Forget about flying like the birds, because walking is where I can feel, touch, smell, and taste my surroundings. I want to be present so I can pick up and hold in my hand my very existence of what I have cumulated over my 21 years of life. I don’t want to fly away to 35 never having touched any part of my life. I rather trudge through the mud, dirt and rocks to get to 35 than to fly away never having felt anything.

It’s easy to fly. Flying requires nothing more than the imagination to take you to anywhere you want to be - it’s not real. Walking requires you to work. You can always talk when you fly, but when you walk you keep your mouth shut, so you can concentrate on putting the next foot forward.

Started doing this work out program. I want to start changing my lifestyle around, and I’m really liking it. Although I’m still in the very beginning, I feel great after each workout. I started following the nutritional guide, and trying to eat 5 small meals a day. No more gym for me, I have my resistance bands and my chin up bar. Lol I hope to get rip in 90 days. ahahaa